Goodbye Grandma

Hello,

If there was ever a moment when it truly hit me that we are in a new normal, yesterday was it. Last Wednesday I lost my grandmother to the Coronavirus. She was 83, in a nursing home in Long Island with underlying conditions. Just the day before there was a news report of a woman over a hundred years old surviving in the same area. God bless them both.

Yesterday a memorial was held for my grandmother via Zoom since her actual service cannot be held until the end of May. A memorial on Zoom. To quote my grandmother, “Oy vey.” After hearing of mishaps with the use of Zoom, I opted to simply call in and avoid the video aspect. When I signed in there were forty other people already present. A new way of gathering in our collective grief. It was new for the person giving the service as well. We were all in this together in real time. I did gain some solace listening and reflecting on my grandmother. I wasn’t sure what to expect but it felt as if I was physically at a funeral service with my eyes closed simply listening. Very surreal.

I also received photos yesterday from my grandmother’s albums. Some I had seen before, some I had never seen, and a few I had been searching for. All were a gift. Those pictures brought me more comfort than anything else. Photos of me as a child reminding and validating my memories. Photos of trips I took with my grandma. Photos of my grandparents’ home where I spent much of my childhood. Photos of my mom as a child. A photo of my grandmother pregnant, probably from the late fifties. A photo that included my dear cousin who had passed away of cancer  at age 9. One of the best photos was of my grandmother in a summer halter atop a motor bike. That picture revealed a playful side of her I had never known.

My grandmother influenced my childhood and teenage years in many ways. Much of what I enjoy today stems from her. Horses, crocheting, cooking from scratch, deep cleaning, paper dolls, farms, plants, reading the Bible, and much more. As adults we don’t always get to spend a lot of time with those we love but that does not mean we love them less. I love people  that I’ve only been around a few times but have had many meaningful conversations with over the years.

This new normal we are experiencing does not have to be all sad. There is much good to be gained in slowing down and staying home. In my grandmother’s generation, more often than not, people stayed closer to home. The pace of life was slower. Traveling was not as frequent as today. There was no internet or social media. I can fully appreciate now all that she taught me and the slower paced life she led. A life filled with family, spirituality, and love. Her smile and infectious laugh were wonderful and I will miss her dearly.

Goodbye Grandma
🐎