By sharing my writing (Poetry in particular), a life long dream, I hope to inspire others to go after their dreams and goals.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

How askew is your view of you?

A year ago I would never have posted the picture on my left anywhere on social media.  In fact I probably would not have taken this picture at all.  Yesterday I took this "selfie" to prove something to myself.

In recent years I have complained about the way I look in some photos.  This stemmed from having gained a little weight as I got older.  I was accustomed to weighing 115lbs or under so gaining even a little weight was unsettling.  Of course gaining weight is a very normal occurrence as one gets older and/or is less active.  There are other factors, such as stress that can increase your weight.  It wasn't until much later I realized my skinny weight that I loved looked unhealthy.

A while back, my youngest son Justin, got tired of hearing me complain how I looked in a picture and the constant retakes I demanded until I felt comfortable with an image.  I don't blame him.  He said something so simple yet so profound that has stayed with me.  He said, to paraphrase, "Mom, why do you hate the way you look in every picture?  I don't get it.  You look like yourself, the way everyone sees you."  I had to digest that for a while and once I did it made sense.  I realized how much energy I was wasting on getting just the right shot.  Thank you Justin.

Until Justin's honesty, the above picture would have in my mind, highlighted the following:

  • a bad hair day
  • dark circles under my eyes
  • lines where my glasses usually lay
  • chin too long
  • tired look
  • slightly pale
  • teeth that need a little whitening
  • one eye more open than the other
Did I miss something?  Of course that is not how my friends and family would view this photo.  Even if they picked up just one thing I have mentioned, does it matter?  If someone loves me or respects me they will see beyond these imperfections.  How I look in this one photo would not make them care less about me.

This lesson was not learned easily.  I will be forty seven years old soon and I am just beginning to get comfortable in my own skin.  Let us teach our children to not worry so much about their images as much as the beauty that lies within them.  I still would wear lipstick and eyeliner, because in my view that makes me look less tired ha! but now I am more accepting when I see pictures others have posted of me that I feel may not be showing me in my "best light."

"When you possess light within, you see it externally." ~Anais Nin

"Me, myself & I", for better or worse,


  1. Keli McCabe LaCreteOctober 17, 2013 at 3:27 PM

    Well said, Val. You are beautiful & perfect in my eyes! Love you, oxox.

    1. Thank you Keli! So are you. Thanks for taking the time to check my blog out. xoxo

  2. Your son is very wise, glad you listened to him. We are who we are. XOXO